Unplugged
by Blindfolded Angel
Summary: [CHAPTER 8 UP!] A series of short stories making fun of the DMC crew, explaining some things the game just doesn't say and making you laugh until your ribs crack! It started with a mysteriously broken phone and now it continues once more...
1. Unplugged

**Hey everyone, this drabble found its way in my head somehow when I was really bored one night. Please R & R. Just so you know, by the way, in this Fic Vergil started to work with Dante cause he came back and all that good stuff, ok? It just makes it funnier.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own DMC or any of its characters. Got it?**_

Unplugged:

Dante sat at his desk impatiently. His feet resting over one another on his desk and his hands crossed comfortably behind his head. Dante was humming something lightly as he stared intently at his phone. It had been a week without business and Dante growing restless.  
He listened silently to the thick sheets of rain pounding on the exterior of Devil May Cry. Dante took a deep breath and sighed. Smiling every now and then by thinking of what he did to Vergil last week. He dyed his twin's hair pink while he was sleeping and took a picture of it. It was rather funny until Yamato found its way curiously enough into Dante's stomach.

"What the hell is wrong with people?" Dante snarled harshly, "Is there no demons out or something? Afraid of a little rain?"

Dante glowered, looking from the silent telephone to the window and back to the telephone. He glared at the telephone as it mocked him, sitting quietly over on the corner of his desk, watching him innocently.

"I'm watching you," Dante warned before stretching his hand out and poking it lightly, "Beware."

Vergil was sleeping upstairs in his room, suffering from a rather large hang over thanks to Dante. The two had gone out due to the lack of business to get any hints of demons at a local pub. Instead of gaining information the twins gained some alcohol and a rather weird night. With the lack of company all Dante could do was wait for the phone to ring, signifying anyone even knowing about his business. Dante didn't really care who it was who called. He just wanted to say his every famous line that he loves to use when answering it. He could always say it no matter what.

"Devil May Cry, Dante here."

It didn't matter if it was the pizza guy, some weirdo with the wrong number or a customer; he always got to say it…unless Vergil got to the phone first…then it was, "Devil May Cry, Vergil here."

Either way the phrase just tickled him silly with pride. Dante glared at the phone and his eye twitched. _If Vergil is still sleeping then maybe…_

-+-

Vergil groaned as he slowly woke up, his head pounding and his body begging for more sleep. He turned over onto his side to get a look at his digital clock and it read 3 pm. far past the time Vergil normally woke up.

"Damn that bastard!" he muttered as he slowly raised him self from the bed and swung his legs over the side of it, holding his head in his hands, "I will get revenge for this. See how he likes getting hung over after I make him out drink that damn bartender tomorrow night!"

Vergil stood up quickly and his head swam, making him sit back down in order to make it settle. He hissed at the pain his head was dealing him and slowly tried to stand again. He made his way sluggishly to the bathroom and threw cold water into his face. After doing the daily things he always did in the morning and popping two doses Advil into his mouth and drinking some water Vergil headed down stairs. _I bet Dante is still glaring at that phone…_Vergil snickered at the thought.

Vergil walked down the stairs and stopped at the bottom, looking at Dante in mingled shock and pity. Dante hadn't noticed him yet as he quickly picked up a phone that hadn't rang yet and said, "Devil May Cry, Dante here," sighing in a pleased manner and hanging up the phone, "That feels better."

Vergil coughed lightly to make his presence known and he snickered at the immediate stiffness Dante took. Dante slowly looked over his shoulder and said, "How long?"

"Long enough."

Dante slowly turned away and sank slightly into his chair as Vergil turned to head up the stairs again.

"Where are you going?" Dante asked weakly.

"Upstairs, to sleep off this hang over. If you are lucky I'll just mark this as a very awkward dream."

Dante nodded and called up to Vergil, "Sweet dreams, Verge."

Vergil only responded by heading up the stairs, by the time he was half way up he called to Dante, "By the way, if you were wondering why the phone isn't ringing, I unplugged it a week ago in revenge for dieing my hair pink while I was sleeping. Good night."

Dante sat there for a second in self-pity. Looking at the cord connected to the phone, which was resting not to far away from the electrical outlet, "Cold Vergil, very cold."

-+-

Doodle Lu do do do do Do!

Please Review!


	2. Glue For Two

**Spazzert here!**

**Thank you guys so much for all of the support. I suppose I have to continue this then, eh? For anyone who reviewed and wasn't responded to, its because I didn't expect so many people to review. Don't get me wrong, -huggles all of you- I luv it but I didn't feel like e-mailing all of you and some of you don't have e-mails. I also didn't expect myself continuing this but here I am…with another weirdo story…made by weirdo me. **

Crystal Snake: Ahh...my first review. Thanks for the encouragement! It really motivated me to make another chapter even though I didn't know what the hell I was going to write. Yes, it was evil of Vergil indeed but Dante was pretty evil to ruin his hair for a week. I didn't mention that Verge was still scrubing it off in the fic. XD Keep Reviewing! I hope to hear more from you!

Kerrianne Harrington: O.O le gasp! I have a sense of humor? YAY! Anyways I do agree...it was very out of characters for the brothers to live in the same house while both are alive but you'll see they are very evil to each other. Thanks for the comments. I can't wait to hear more from you!

Cat-the-devilhunter: I can too. I got the idea from a friend of mine who dyed her friend's hair pink while he wasn't looking. It 'twas funny. I hope to hear more from you as well!

Mor: -waves- HIYA! I've seen you before! XD Thanks for the review. I'll have to think about Vergil's revenge for a while unless you have some suggestions for me. Hope to hear from ya again!

Alucardlordofvampires: Cool name! -fwee- I luv Alucard from Hellsing! AAANNNYYYWWWAAAYYYSSS... Thanks for the review. Yes, I did notice that there for I am creating my own to take up space! Muahaha! lol. Hope to hear from you again!

Vampy Sparda: I hope all my other shots will be good to but first I must write the shots! Thanks for all the awesome comments! I loved reading your review and I hope to see more reviews from you.

Meirelle: Yes, I liked that part. It came to my head late at night. I could see Dante doing that and I just had to write it down! XD HIya again by the way! I've seen you before too. Vergil is awesome indeed. Keep Reviewing and I'll keep writing!

Skaye: Yeessss...-shifty eyes and taps fingers together- Silly and evil indeed. muahahaha! No seriously, thanks for the review! I hope to see you again on my review list!

xXxkIkOkEnxXx: Thanks for the review! I plan on updating again when I get more ideas, -bangs on head- But school keeps hurting my brain too much to write. Hope to hear from you again! XD

**This shot is about the way Vergil learned about the ways of spiky hair!**

Glue For Two:

Vergil and Dante sat across from each other. One positioned sternly on one couch, the other on the opposing couch. Their crystal blue eyes were locked in a deadly combat. Yes, that's right. That worst of all challenges. The hardest of tasks, the most fearsome battle were the weak blink and the winner ends up having eye problems for the rest of the day. That's right…it was a staring contest and neither twin intended on losing. Both were set on having eyes troubles for the rest of the day.

Dante continued to stare at his twin unflinchingly. His eyes set in a determined blaze and his mind striving for control of his bodily instinct to blink. Vergil, who was beginning to wonder if accepting the challenge was all that wise of a decision knowing how stubborn both were, began to think of ways to legally make Dante blink first.

Vergil grinned a wicked grin as he looked into his brother's eyes. Dante became suspicious and instantly asked the all to common question for suspicious looks, "What?"

"Oh nothing, dear brother, I was just wondering if you remembered the first time I ever spiked my hair?" Vergil said in his stony tone. Dante's mouth twisted into a barely controlled smile as the memory rushed to Dante's mind. His eyes began to water and his smile began to burn holes into his cheeks and before long Dante was on the floor laughing, his eyes firmly shut and his hands wrapped around his ribs as though they were threatening to pop out.

Vergil's grin broadened as he accepted victory yet again and slowly closed his eyes in glorious satisfaction. Ah the joys of closing your eyes after having them open for so long, its like when you finally get away from a very ignorant annoying person who wouldn't stop talking or leave you alone.

Dante slowly gained positioned in his chair again and slowly wiped away the remaining tears on his face, "Whew. That was cruel, Verge, you know that one gets me every time."

Vergil rolled his now open eyes and scoffed, "So it would seem. Its apart of my revenge for what you did to me."

"So? You ended up liking the style in the end," Dante shrugged, pointing at his brother rather pointy white hair.

Vergil leaned back into his couch and smiled, "Yes, I do owe you for that and that is why you are still alive today."

-+-

Flashback 

_"Vergil, What'cha doin'?" Dante asked curiously as he watched his six year old twin sitting on their bathroom counter playing around with his pure white hair. _

_"I'm tired of everyone always getting us confused, Brother, I'm changing my hair so they will be able to tell the difference from now on," Vergil said, dampening his hands and trying to make something of his rather difficult hair. His tongue perched at the corner of his mouth in concentration, eyebrows furrowed and eyes blazing in determination._

_"Why don't you do what Dad does when he goes out sometimes?" Dante asked._

_Vergil looked over to his brother and asked, "What?"_

_"Yeah," his brother nodded enthusiastically and continued, "He puts this gunk in his hair and it gets all hard and goes up right!" Dante put on one of his cheesy smiles, holding his hair up for emphasis. Vergil smiled and said, "Go get the gunk Dad uses Dante."_

_-+-_

Well that little adventure did not end well…Dante, mistaking the glue perched for some odd reason on his father's bathroom counter, gave Vergil glue to spike his hair with. The glue made his hair spiky alright…it made it spiky for a couple of long days of which contained many rough bath nights for Vergil and Eva and a rather raw bottom for Dante…

Dante rubbed his butt slightly and winced, remembering the smite of Eva, his Mother. Vergil smiled and said; "I remember hearing those bottom slaps all the way upstairs.

Dante scowled before grinning back, "And I remember that goofy chunky hair off yours that lasted for three days."

Vergil glared, as he tasted cold hard defeat it was almost as hard as his hair…

-+-

** Yet again I find myself making fun of Vergil's hair but its just so much fun! This was the product of a boring math class! I hope you enjoyed it! Please review! XD**


	3. Foosball

_**Hi again. 'Tis me! Spazzert! The almighty weird one or weirdness because it is just plain fun to be weird! Muahaha! Luckily for you guys I got another idea for this fan fic but I do need help. Anyone with suggestions please e-mail me at my e-mail address located on my profile under e-mail. Thanks.**_

_**Here are my responses to the reviews, thanks guys!**_

**_Ri2: O.O indeed he does.  
Backdraft: I hope there will be a third chapter too but I need help! I need suggestions! GAH!  
Kerrianne Harrington: Hola again! Glad to hear from you again! It does explain a lot doesn't it?  
Scorch the hedgehog: They are cruel to each other! -.- Kinda reminds me of Li and Sirius...(my characters for my book I am writing)_**

**_Meirelle_****_- Thankies! I love your encouragement! XD_**

**_xAlone in Darknessx_****_- Indeed that is how it happened. Lol, at least in my weirdo mind it did. Lol. Thanks for the review! I'm glad to have made your day too!_**

**_If I missed anyone I am REALLY sorry! ;;_**

Foosball:

Vergil and Dante both sighed deeply, Vergil leaning into the deep cushions of the couch while Dante had his elbows on his knees and was deeply clutching his white hair. They were suffering from a major blow to the egos at the moment and neither could believe what had just happened. How did this happen to them, you wonder? Let me tell you…they played foosball. No, not just any ordinary game of foosball. You try winning against two pissed off women who happen to be devil slayers and part devil. Yeah. Well, one human Devil slayer was in there too…

-+-

Dante and Vergil didn't know how it actually happened. Once Dante had destroyed the last pool table during a demon attack they decided to try something new. A Foosball table. The second it arrived the twins looked at it quizzically.

Dante lightly poked one of the many rods. "That must hurt," he said quietly.

"What must hurt?" Vergil asked coolly, looking over the many rods on the opposite side of the table, grabbing one of the rubber grips on the row of rods and twirling it experimentally.

"Having a rod jammed up your butt."

Vergil stood still for a moment before looking over to his brother dully. Dante only looked back at him innocently, "What?"

"For one thing, Dante, these things can't feel. For another thing, its through their sides, not their bottoms," Vergil snapped.

Dante shrugged, "Butts, sides, they all feel the same to me."

Vergil rolled his eyes and looked at the small little ball sitting peacefully in the middle of the table, the name Fred written across it. "Fred," Vergil read aloud and picked up the ball. Dante laughed which was responded with a glare by Vergil, "What?"

Dante tried to speak between his side splitting laughs, "You named the ball?"

Vergil looked insulted and instantly threw the ball into the table, "What? I would never!"

Both fell silent as they heard the soft rolling of the ball on the table, slowly edging around the players and fell delicately into the goal with a clack. Both boys watched it hypnotically and that's when they decided to face eachother in foosball.

-+-

Trish, Lucia and Lady all walked up to the doorstep of Devil May Cry very tired, very worn out, very dirty, very smell, very bloody, and very very pissed. Trish fumbled in her pocket sluggishly for her key as the other two women held their weapons lazily, waiting for their friend to open the door. Each had killed a rough amount of 25 demons each and Devils counted as 50, which all three worked together to kill one.

They had left the boys behind because the job didn't need them and just between the hunters at Devil May Cry they had a consent contest in the job. They were broken into teams, girls against boys, one who could beat the most creatures on a mission. After the girls team, aka Devil Never Cry, and Dante and Vergil wee Devil May Cry. They had finished the last job and felt sure about not having to pay for Friday night pizza and a movie this week and a good bunch of drinks. Each preferred their own kind so the price for this little party each week was rather pricey and they always spent Saturday healing from the amount of body damage (eating, drinking, that stuff) they received the night before.

The girls were pretty confident about not paying and were rather ready for Friday to come. As Trish slowly opened the doors to Devil May Cry, expecting it to be empty since Dante and Vergil were supposed to be out on a mission but when the door to Devil May Cry only to stand in shook at the door way. Lucia and Lady, standing behind her groaned as she staled, completely blocking their view and their way in.

"Trish, c'mon, move it!" Lady snapped but just as she said that Trish fell backwards, a small ball with the name Fred embedded in her head. Lady gaped at her fallen friend and Lucia only glared at the two innocent grinning boys over by the foosball table.

"I guess I got carried away?" Dante said weakly.

-+-

Thus started the battle of the sexes foosball style and inevitably the women, fueled by revenge and just being plain pissed off, took off their anger on the poor foosball players. Trish playing with a band-aid on her forehead, which was covering the indented name Fred that marked her pale forehead. Dante and Vergil lost…badly…six times…out of six. It was a sad day for men but a glorious one for women.

All in all I think Fred one. The girls beat the boys and Fred beamed one of the girls in the head. All is fair in war and foosball.

-+-

**_So what did you think? I got this idea from something that happened to me. My friends and I were playing foosball, girls VS boys and this guys who was rooting for the boys got nailed in the head "Accidentally" by the foosball, which one of the girls shot. Ta ta._**


	4. Fear Factor prt 1

_**YAY! I love it when you guys review for me! It makes me feel all happy inside. Lucky you guys I figured out another idea but…it prob isn't as good as the others…please tell me what you think and flame me if it sucks. Thanks.**_

Ri2- Indeed! Fred da foosball rox my sox! I had to name the foosball! It made nailing Trish in the head all the more fun!

Backdraft- The story for foosball wouldn't have been funny without them. Thanks for the idea! I definitely have to use it. I'll save it as a special for Halloween! Mua-ha-ha!

Sydon- O.O is it not spell Foosball…I don't know how to spell really, I rely on spell check! Foosball…the one with the table and the little people on sticks…right? I'm glad you liked it! I hope to hear more from you in later chapters as well!

Scorch The Hedgehog- -laughs and tries to think of quote as well- Er…Oh I know! Hey look at that, we have something in common. My family is dysfunctional too. I love that part.

HieiKuramaFan- I am glad you like it! I'm glad to help you out in computer class as well but I hope you don't get caught! O.O keep reading!

Kerrianne Harrington- I'm glad that my work is original but thinking of original things is hard. XP I am soooo happy that you like my work! I try. I hope to get more reviews from you and I hope I can always meet your standards. Any ideas are respected.

_**ON WITH THE FIC!**_

Fear Factor part one:

Dante, Vergil and the girls all sat in the TV room to Devil May Cry watching the latest episode of one of their favorite shows, Fear Factor. Sure the gang had many favorite shows, some of which were never spoken of otherwise because Dante and Vergil were men and do not watch said shows…but this show was something they didn't mind admitting that they watched it regularly.

"I knew the girls couldn't handle eating that!" Dante laughed from his position on the floor, his back against the armrest of the couch. The ladies were sitting together on the couch and Vergil was leaning against the other armrest.

Lady rolled her eyes and glared at Dante, "The only reason why you say that is because you would eat anything, Dante."

Vergil chuckled and agreed, "Yea, Dante. I wouldn't even eat that," Vergil said, making a face at the very thought of the animal liquids and other nasty things that the show was forcing them to eat slithering down his noble throat.

Trish laughed and said, "Depends for me. I have my limits."

Dante looked up at her and grinned, "Oh really? I remember we had a contest once."

Vergil laughed at the memory and the girls scowled. The contest was simple really. The girls went into one room and the guys in another. They were to make a slushie and they could put anything in it as long as it wouldn't kill the other team though Vergil was thinking about putting something else in there… Whatever one team made the other team had to drink or else they would have to clean Devil May Cry that weekend since neither teams wanted to clean up the results of a rather messy demon attack from the other day. The girls weren't quite as imaginative in the game as the boys and one look at the goop made two of the three girls barf. Dante and Vergil drank theirs as quickly as possible and watched as the girls consulted their options. The drink appalled Lady and Lucia but Trish drank rather happily…almost too happily. They would have won but the other two women had to drink it too and their limits had been passed the second the fumes reached their nostrils. Trish was rather upset by the outcome and as such refused to clean Devil May Cry. The boys agreed since Trish had drank their mysterious goop and Trish played foosball with them as the remaining girls cleaned rather grumpily.

Trish scowled and snapped, "Would you want to clean up the guts of those monsters more than drink some slop? I think not."

Lady and Lucia laughed and said, "I don't know. I think that slop was some monster guts; after all, a good chunk of it was missing when we set off to work."

Trish looked horrified as the two boys busted with laughter and she looked down at them.

Vergil wagged his finger at her and said, "Its best that you don't know what we put in that drink, Trish."

Dante nodded as the commercials were finally over and the show turned back on. He turned his attention back to the screen as part three of Fear Factor began to play.

Once the show was over Dante was laughing, the others seemingly agreeing with the cast that the dare was pretty scary. Dante had reason to laugh he practically had no fears. I mean think about it. He wasn't afraid of spiders, how many huge arachnids did he slaughter in his previous missions? He didn't like them but there was differences between dislike and scared. He wasn't afraid of heights that was for sure. I mean the weirdo ran down a tower that seemingly reached Heaven…or Hell. He also seemed to enjoy running down that… He wasn't afraid of pain or sharp objects, which was apart of his job and life. He wasn't afraid of demonic creatures or the dark. He wasn't afraid of women, if so Lady would have terrified him years ago… He wasn't afraid of dogs or else Cerberus would have made him soil his pants upon sight. No, he wasn't afraid of pretty much anything besides the world running out of pizza and one other thing… One thing he would never admit to being afraid of…ever.

Yes, the great Son of Sparda. The son of a legendary Devil Knight was afraid of only one other thing besides lack of pizza supplies…socks. Who the hell created the awful things that would suffocate your feet! And my god could they reproduce! Every time he shot one of the blasted creatures another one would be watching him from his dresser! How could they do that, the blasted things! And not only that they made your shoes smaller! How could anyone possibly wear shoes when the stupid things took up 90 of the space in there? I mean, God! Who thought of the stupid little creature? Whoever it was Dante was sure Ebony and Ivory were itching to meet them.

Yes, Dante was sure that socks were the spawn of Mundus… always trying to eat his feet off, always sitting there in his dresser looking innocent. Vergil says it makes sure you feet are healthy and don't stink while your on a mission but Dante's feet were fine without them! How could Vergil stand to wear the retched things? I mean, they made it so that you couldn't move your toes! Toes are needed for cleaning after all! Whenever Dante cleans his room he doesn't bend over to pick up clothes he uses his toes to pick them up and bring them to his hands! Socks prevented that and after too much bending you would get back problems! Then people say that socks prevent illnesses. Yea right! They make your feet too hot! Who in all the levels of the underworld would want their feet that hot? Satin? Maybe Mundus but that's because Mundus is just weird like that…

Yes, Dante was convinced that socks had to be the most horrible thing ever created…ever!

"I could beat fear factor no problem!" Dante proclaimed proudly and sure enough the girls believed it but Vergil only laughed. Dante glared at him and Vergil put his hands up in mock surrender.

"I am not doubting that you could do the stuff they do on TV because those things aren't what you are afraid of."

Dante laughed and crossed his arms, "That's because I am not afraid of anything!"

Vergil cocked an eyebrow at his brother and began to pull off his shoe. Dante watched curiously and when the thing underneath the shoe came into view Dante stiffened in place. The girls watched curiously as Vergil peeled off the thick white sock and dangled it in front of Dante's face, "Oh really?" Vergil smiled and threw the sock onto the floor by Dante's feet.

It didn't even take a second for Dante spring onto the couch, promptly landing in Lady's unsuspecting lap. She twitched, a vein appearing on her temple and she growled darkly, "Dante, what do you thin you are doing?"

Dante only pointed at the sock and shouted, "ITS EVIL! EVIL I SAY! EVIL! See! See how it looks at me! It wants to eat my feet I say!"

The girls only remained looking at Dante as though he were crazy and Vergil laughed, grabbing his sock and putting it back on his foot, then his shoe. Once Dante and Lady were sure the sock was gone Lady pushed Dante back onto the floor and laughed, "So the great demon slayer is afraid of socks… now that must be a blow in the ego for Mundus… to be defeated by a half-demon who is afraid of socks."

Dante glared at her and Vergil laughed, "I'm going to bed. Sweet dreams, Dante, don't let the socks bite."

Dante grumbled, "Ha ha, very funny. Just remember Verge, I know what you are afraid of as well."

Vergil stiffened for a moment and then continued up stairs. He said as he reached his room, "But you don't like them either."

Dante smiled, "I may not like them, but there is a difference between dislike and scared. AH!"

Right then Lady took revenge for the intrusion of her lap earlier, pulled off her own sock and placed it lightly on Dante's head. Lady laughed, "Don't move and it won't get your feet."

Sure enough Dante never moved… he stayed like that for three days because no one bothered to take off the little sock. He whimpered softly, eyes stuck on the little thing hanging in his face, belly grumbling. It was a rather pathetic sight to see and finally, even though the three days of quiet was nice, Vergil peeled off the sock and allowed Dante to go to the bathroom. Aw, how nice, eh?

-+-

_**So what did you think? I plan on making another part for Vergil. –evil grin-**_


	5. Fear Factor prt 2

**I finally got around to writing the next part! Hoo-ray! It took a long time to figure out a fear for Vergil to have but I don't think its all that bad. ;; can't be worse than a fear of socks, right? –Evil laugh- or maybe it is so horrifying that only little children could love it. Of course!**

_**My responses to my reviewers! . **_

Ri2: Yes! SOCKS ARE EVIL! Or so Dante believes. Read and find out what Vergil fears!

Rebellion Yamato: Ok. I'll continue! Thanks for the review and I am glad you liked it!

Crystal Snake: Thanks for the review! I'll give you a hint as to what Vergil is afraid of. It's purple, pink and green!

Kerrianne Harrington: Sorry but its socks in my mind of weirdness. I see why you would think it would be books that Dante is afraid of but as I said, there is a difference between dislike and fear. I hope you like this chapter! It was super hard to think of something that Vergil would be afraid of! Keep Reviewing!

Scorch the hedgehog: Yes! I can't wait for it to come out! When is it coming out by the way? Thanks for the review! I can't wait! I want to play Vergil's story!

Meirelle: Read and you'll find out what Verge is afraid of! I hope to get mores review from ya!

Kato Shingetsu: Whoa…you read it all the way through? SWEET! Thanks for the compliment, it means a lot to me. By the way, did you get the name Kato from Shadow Hearts for PS2 or is it just a name you like? I love the Shadow Hearts games…I can't wait for the third one.

DarkRiku'sGirlfriend: Thanks! –Insert happy laugh here- I'm so glad you found it funny. I didn't think myself as much of a humorous person but I'm glad I made you laugh! I can't wait to hear more from you and I hope you find this chapter just as funny as the others!

**Fear Factor part 2:**

It had been a while since Dante was released from the evil sock's grasp. Every now and then Dante would twitch when he saw people wearing them and on the day of release he had washed his hair at the least 50 times in order to rid him self of all "Evil Sock-ly-ness", as Dante called it when Vergil found him in the bathroom.

The girls had their fun tormenting Dante about his little, "Fear" by taping socks all over his room, putting one on the doorknob to the bathroom and lastly the worse one of all which Dante was brooding about currently. The girls ordered his favorite pizza, the whole box for him, free of charge, but…super glued a huge sock to the cardboard lid. Dante had the box in front of him, sitting at the kitchen table, trying to figure out a way to get to his beloved food without having to touch his worst enemy…the sock…how fearsome. He must have sat like that for a hour when Vergil finally entered the almost empty kitchen.

"Are you still trying to get to your pizza, Dante?" Vergil asked calmly, opening the pizza box, removing a slice in front of his brother's fiery eyes of doom and biting into the juicy slice then closing the box again.

"Did I ever tell you I hate you, Verge?" Dante growled as he watched his brother eat his beloved food. He pulled out ebony just as Vergil sat across him, the barrel resting lightly on his brother's forehead, "Hand it over, Verge."

Vergil smiled, staring at Dante with amused eyes and brought the pizza closer to his mouth, and said, "You know that a single bullet won't kill me, dear brother."

"Fine, if you won't give it to me because of a death threat what about a different kind of threat?" Dante grinned, barrel still laying innocently on Vergil's head, pizza still in Vergil's hands.

"Hmm?" Vergil encouraged his brother to continue. What could his brother possibly have up his sleeve? Nothing, more than likely.

"I'll tell the girls YOUR worst fear. An eye for an eye, yes?"

Vergil smiled upon the memory of the night when he told the girls about Dante's "minor" fear of socks. He said confidently, taking another bite of his pizza and leaving the room, Dante's arm still in position, "I fear nothing, Dante."

Dante scowled as he watched his brother leave and got up from the table as well. He said to no one in particular, "We'll see, Vergil, we'll see."

With that Dante aimed without looking and nicked the sock off of the pizza box without ever harming the box at all, opening the box, took out a slice, took a bite and pulled the trigger several more times. As he left, the sock lying on floor was smoking, black with gunpowder and very holey. Bow beofre the holiness of the sock. (joke...you know...holes...holy...aw forget it)

-+-

Lady had warned the boys many times before the weekend came. There were several rules to keep in mind for Saturday.

No drinks

No foul words (though Vergil would have no problem with that)

No weapons

No Devil Triggers

No monster heads on the wall (which took a day to store away)

Why all the rules? Well, Lady's niece was coming over for one day since her sister was out of town. She didn't want anything bad to happen to her niece and she certainly didn't want her niece being traumatized at an early age because her roommates were all devils or part devil.

Her niece seemed very nice as she entered Devil May Cry. A small girly cartoon backpack strapped tightly around her back and packed to the brim with various toys and assets every child needed when going somewhere they thought would have no toys.

She was cute, her short black hair tied into little pigtails, her eyes mismatched much like Lady's but she was a bit different since she walked with a skip to her step and was at a rough age of 3 or 4. It was like a Mini-Mary.! Her face was all smiles and sunshine as she entered the establishment, her aunt's hand in her own. Trish and Lucia were very welcoming, rushing up to the small child and greeting her fondly. Vergil and Dante on the other hand stood a bit away from the group of women…watching in mock fear…how did they grow to become so outnumbered!

The child smiled and giggled, "Look what daddy got me!" as she pulled out a small purple, green and pink thing. Vergil's eyes bulged slightly as he stared at it.

Vergil wasn't afraid of practically anything, very much like Dante. He wasn't afraid of cats or childish dolls, how many did he control on Mallet Island? He wasn't afraid of Mundus, if he was would he have left him alone in the underworld? Vergil wasn't afraid of socks…and he wasn't afraid of children either. He didn't LIKE children…evil little son of a –thinks for a moment- that's right…Lady said no curse words…anyways; there was a difference between fear and dislike. He didn't fear the little demonic things but he didn't like them either. No…his fear was completely understandable.

You would be afraid of Barney as well if Mundus made you watch reruns of the kiddy show in order to brain wash you into becoming his dark little minion. Believe what you want about Vergil wanting to become evil…Mundus had really kidnapped him one night, tied him to a chair and made him watch Barney until he lost sight of the light and decided to kill all humans in revenge for creating such a pointless and horrific show!

The stupid pink, purple and green dinosaur would change shape too! There was no hiding from the blasted thing as it came to life and busted out into song! GAH! And how the hell did it fit so many darn things inside that stupid special glittery bag of his! I mean come on! No human or non-evil thing could do that besides Felix the cat! It was unnatural! And there was no way that a talking freakin' dino/plushie could befriend that many mindless children without brain washing them! HE WAS EVIL and Vergil knew it! He just didn't have any reasonable proof besides the fact that Mundus enjoyed it and got many punishing ideas from the small little episodes of doom! But he couldn't just sue the makers of Barney because some lord of the underworld they didn't even know loved to watch it and got ideas from it.

Vergil twitched as the small child squeezed the plushie softly around the belly. The purple, pink and green dinosaur giggled and its cheeks glowed a bright pink as it said in its goofy butt voice, "I love you!"

Dante laughed, having known Vergil's little secret for quite sometime and finally decided to talk to Mary's niece. "Hey, come here and say hi! Verge here wants to see who you brought with you."

Vergil only glared at his brother as the child smiled and nodded, beginning to approach the two. She held Barney out for both to see and giggled, "Barney!"

Vergil couldn't move as he watched the small purple dinosaur of doom be squeezed again and let out a goofy sounding, "Will you be my friend?"

Dante laughed and bent down onone knee, patting the child's head playfully. Vergil stood rigidly, not daring to move, looking at seemingly nothing. The dinosaur's features slowly changed before his eyes and a wicked grin spread upon the plushie's demonic face. Eyes glowing a deadly red it cackled, "I will eat your soul!" But of course neither the child nor anyone else besides Vergil heard that.

The room was deathly silent as a flash of silver streamed in and out of view. Vergil cackled like a mad man and brought the point of Yamato down upon the two separated halves of Barney and yelled with an insane grin, "Who is eating who's soul now, Purple demon of hell!"

The blade pierced the toy easily, cracking the mechanical voice box within and making it gurgle odd deep words before it completely broke. Every stood there besides Vergil who was re-sheathing his sword with glee, knuckles white and sweat outlining his brow, his frame trembling slightly.

Before anyone could do anything the small child's eyes welled and she fell to her knees besides the horrid remains of Barney the dinosaur. She screamed as torrents of salty tears flooded her cheeks, "BARNEY! YOU KILLED BARNEY!"

Vergil proceeded to sing, "Joy to the world that Barney's dead, I chopped off his head! What happened to the body? I flushed it down the potty and around and around it goes. And around and around it goes. Around and around and around it goes!"

"Vergil you lunatic!" Lady screeched as she gathered the balling child from Dante's comforting arms.

Trish glowered and yelled, "Get out! Both of you get out!"

"I didn't do anything! Plus this is my place!" Dante proceeded to yell as Trish grabbed both boys' ears and began to drag them to the exit.

"No Trish. I have a better idea," Lucia smiled as Trish stopped to look at her grinning comrade.

"What did you have in mind?"

-+-

"Have I ever told you that I hate you, Verge?" Dante growled as he sat against the couch, glaring at his brother.

"Yeah, Dante. You've told me twice today."

Both boys lay defeated on the floor. Their hair in small little ribbons and assorted hair accessories that the small child picked out for both men. She was having fun currently painting all kinds of pretty pictures on Vergil's cheek. Dante was painted already as a kitten with black strips, a painted on kitten grin and white kitten cheeks. Vergil was on his way to looking like a butterfly. As the child (who seemed to be very talented at painting faces) finished, Dante laughed at his glowering brother.

"Aw, don't you boys look so pretty!" Trish said sweetly as she took a picture of Vergil and Dante with Mary's niece in their laps. The child was completely ok after the promise of a new toy and the chance to paint the boys whichever way she liked.

How, you ask, did the child manage to over power the half devils in order to paint their faces? Lets just say it took a couples of paralyzing herbs, many robes, a few chains, two combination locks each and a sock in order to keep the boys at bay.

Yes…Barney and socks are evil indeed.

-+-

So what did you guys think? I thought of Barney because one summer I had to watch over my baby cousin and her favorite show was, you guessed it, the evil purple dinosaur of doom. I had his stupid I Love You song in my head for weeks! AH! BARNEY MUST DIE! –Holds head at thought of Barney-

Keep Reviewing Guys! I love to hear from you!


	6. Entrance of Scipio!

_Sorry for not updating for such a long time! I couldn't think of anything but this should be able to start up some new ideas. If you are wondering who Scipio is...you'll find out in a minute! I hope you like it!_

_Whoa...you guys reviewed alot! -glomps my Reviewers- I love you guys! X3 Keep Reviewing! Here are my responses! I hope you guys like this Chapter...it isn't as good as the others though._

**Scorch the hedgehog**- Thanks for the link! I can't wait until it comes out down here! Until then I have Sly Cooper 3 to occupy my time. Thanks for reviewing!

**Rebellion Yamato**- Yes...socks...I know. It was a weird idea but -shrugs- Whatever. BARNEY IS EVIL! XD and yes, socks are very useful when applied with rocks. Maybe I can use that in one of my stories...hmm...Thanks for the review!

**DarkRiku'sGirlfriend**- Thanks! When I was writing it that Death to Barney song came up in my head and I couldn't help but have Vegil sing it. X3 I can just imagine it. Anyways, sorry it took so long for me to update. I hope you like it! Keep Reviewing and thanks again!

**Ri2 -** O.O I didn't think about that...heh heh...What should the name be? I dunno...I'll have to get a poll of people to make suggestions or something. Yep...I suppose Arkham and the wife had another child. Disturbing, isn't it? lol. Keep Reviewing and thanks!

**Hester-** Thanks! I'll make sure to bring mini-mary back in the future! XD I hope you like this story! It has another mini person! Not quite as innocent though. XP Keep Reviewing and thanks!

**VergilSparda666**- Thanks! You need to update too by the way -pokes you repeatedly- Darn...my pokes aren't working...v.v hmm. Thanks again and I'm glad you like it! Barney is evil indeed...I look forward to your next review and to your next update! -pokes you again-

**Kerrianne Harrington**- Lol. Indeed. I'm glad you liked it and who doesn't fear/dislike Barney besides childern? -ponders- Thats for the support and the review! I hope you like this chapter!

**HieiKuramaFan**- If Vergil was afraid of underwear then he would run around Comando (w/o underwear on) which is a slightly disturbing thought. I'm glad you liked it! I plan on do something halloween related for this month, Your story about Vergil, Dante and Trish for Halloween was awesome! I'm glad the chapter gave you an idea for something to draw as well! XD Yay fellow artist! Keep Reviewing and thanks!

**Shale 101**- YAY indeed! -celebrates with Shale 101- Thanks for the review! I hope you like this chapter!

**Kato Shingetsu**- Yes! You must go play shadow hearts! It is an awesome game! Not as good as DMC but still awesome! XD I hope you like this chapter and I hope you keep reviewing! Thanks!

**Ahehehe-** ...interesting name...anyways. Thanks! I'll have to bring back Mini-Mary for you guys, indeed. Barney is -shivers- distubing... I hope you like this chapter. Keep reviewing and thanks!

**Meirelle**- -grins evilly- Wackey indeed! Muahahaha! Anyways, thanks for the review! I hope you like this chapter! Keep reviewing and thanks!

**KAT!- **-glomps you- HI KAT! HI IZU! I was really surprised to see your review in my mailbox! XD Sorry Izu-kun but I just had to use the pink hair dye idea and I'm sorry for giving Kat ideas...-grins evilly- Anyways I'm glad you guys liked it! I can't wait to hear from you again! XD Keep Reviewing!

-_sighs- whoa...that took longer than accually writing the chapter! Just a few things, one. Please give me suggestions for Mini-Mary's name...I forgot to name her as many of you pinted out. XP And also I plan on letting Li and Sirius handle responding to the review for now on. Kat, you know Li and Sirius, as for the rest of you I'll describe them in my next update whenever that maybe. Now to go do my Chemistry homework -curses under breath- I hate Chemistry..._

Entrance Of Scipio

Vergil slowly rose up from his bed, wiping the lasting effects of sleep from his eyes. His room seemed to be particularly bright today and he squinted out of the window in order to find out the insane cause that had woken him up. No doubt about it…that maniacal laughter belonged to only one person…Mundus.

Vergil shot out of his bed immediately and raced to find Yamato, which was resting on his pillow next to him. He ran down the stairs as quickly as his devil legs would carry him and stopped in the office where he found Dante fumbling to reload his guns since he had sent several rounds into some demons last night and didn't bother to reload like Vergil had suggested.

Both devil twins were wearing nothing but their boxers, Vergil wearing blue, Dante wearing red. Their chests only covered by a white tang top as they sprinted outside, Dante clutching his reloaded girls and Vergil holding the hilt to his sword with white knuckles. The wind crept softly through both boy's white hair as a wave of shocking numbness thrashed over their barely clothed bodies…the brightness of Vergil's room was because of one thing…snow and a lot of it.

The devil boys shivered violently and Dante cursed profanely, "Mundus! What the hell do you think you are doing!"

Mundus chuckled evilly and appeared before the boys in the most evil thing ever…he was... a child? His brown hair was flecked white from the still falling snowflakes and he was wrapped up warmly. The only thing that gave him away was not the three purple dots which had become his trade mark but the sticker on his coat which said, "Hello, I'm Mundus!"

Mundus growled and gave out a curse, "I forgot to peel that off! That stupid secretary! After you destroyed Mallet Island and Temen-Ni-Gru I ran out of portals and had to use the public one! The gull of that women!" he said, beginning to impersonate a nasally voice, "I'm sorry sir, you must wear your name tag while in the human world."

Vergil and Dante gave each other astounded looks and looked back to the child Mundus and said at the same time, their weapons still at the ready, "What do you want, Mundus?"

Mundus chuckled, his deep purplish red eyes glinting with malice and mischief and his face light up in a grin. His voice was smaller now, so that his form matched it as he said, "I'm getting my revenge, of course."

With no warning Dante blurted out, "And what's with the midget disguise. I know I told you your last one sucked but THIS, this is beyond sucks…its creepy."

Mundus growled and dashed to the ground quickly, balling something quickly and before either of the half demons could blink Vergil had been sent to the ground, a thick white sphere of snow smashed into his face. Looking to the side at his fallen brother Dante managed out a chuckle as a snowball hit him in the side of his face. But he didn't fall, instead he glared at Mundus who gave out a innocent shrug. Before Dante could blink Mundus had flung several more snowballs, nailing Dante square in the face, plowing him into a rather thick part of the snow. His hair invisable since it matched the snow perfectly.

Dante and Vergil jumped up quickly and snarled, unleashing a few clips at the child only to receive a few more bumps on the head from a weary Trish who had snuck up behind the pair.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Trish asked, her nightshirt barely going past mid thighs, her arms wrapped quickly around herself and she shivered, "And why are you shooting at an innocent child?"

Mundus, seeing the perfect opportunity to unleash more havoc, fell gracefully onto his bum and began to bawl, big crystal tears flooding down his round cheeks, which were steadily growing red. Trish quickly snapped completely awake, the fact that the snow on the ground was freezing and rushed over to Mundus, wrapping her strong arms around him. Her face cooed to him, "What did they do to you, huh? How about you come inside with me? We'll get you some warmer clothes and something warm in your stomach. Where are your parents?"

"My parents?" Mundus sniffled a lie, "I don't have any…"

"Oh poor thing," Trish said sadly, scooping up Mundus and bringing him inside but not before glaring at the still armed devil boys and scolding them, "You should be ashamed of yourselves! And go get some clothes on for Heaven's sake!"

"As if you can talk…" Dante murmured.

"What was that?" Trish yelled wickedly from inside Devil May Cry.

"Nothing," Dante called as he walked in, Vergil closely in tow.

"Wait Trish!" Vergil said urgently, "That's no normal child!"

"Yeah!" Dante agreed, "It's Mundus!" Well Dante wasn't very happy about their punishment…Vergil merely looked as Dante fell limply to the floor, a snowy sock that was once on Trish's foot now resting on his forehead. Dante whimpered, "The evil sock is cold…it has gained a new power!"

Vergil merely ignored his brother as Dante slapped the sock off quickly and pulled out his girls, leaving a very holey sock behind. Dante ran after Vergil and Trish only to find Vergil stunned in place, staring at Trish who had dressed Mundus in one of Dante's rather large shirts that said, "Bow Before Me," and Dante had to run out of the room for he was laughing too hard, Vergil closely behind. Mundus looked so very pissed.

-+-

Well Mundus tried to slip away many times but Trish always kept him. Mary and Lucia came down shortly after and Mundus could not escape from the women. Finally the girls went to sleep, leaving Mundus "sleeping" on the couch. Vergil and Dante slowly tipped toed down the stairs when they heard Mundus stir and flicked on a flashlight at Mundus.

"Spill, Mundus. What do you want? Why are you still here?" Vergil asked looking at a very disgruntled Mundus who was looking at a letter.

"What's that?" Dante asked, plucking the letter from Mundus but freezing in shock. Vergil scowled, "Are you going to say anything or do I have to read it myself?"

Vergil snatched the letter from Dante who still hadn't moved, pure terror on his face. Vergil began to read and freezed just as Dante and Mundus had.

_**Dear Mr. Mundus,**_

_**We have noticed that you have been permitted into the Human world a day before the expiration of your Demon License (a license that allows demons to use public portals) and there for you cannot re-enter the demon world until the human form you have taken has come to the proper age to take the test. Good luck and see you in 9 years.**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**The Secretary**_

_**PS: The council of Demon Deciders of Public Portals has informed me to tell you and the two Devil Hunters that you will be staying at Devil May Cry until you have grown to the correct age. Here is the name you have been formatted under while in the human world.**_

_**Name: Scipio Turner**_

_**Age: 7 (human years)**_

_**Have fun and Good Luck!**_

Well the three had slept rather peacefully that night since all three passed out of shock. Everyone, welcome "Scipio" the Demon Lord. How would people..let alone demons...respect him now. Whenever he shouted "Fear me!", "Bow down before me!", or "I am Mundus, Lord of the underworld!" people who either:

A.) Think he is crazy.

B.) Laugh at him.

C.) All of the above.

Mundus didn't like those options at all...but at least he would be able to have his revenge on the Demon Hunters. With the women wrapped around his fingers he would make Vergil and Dante regret everything they had ever done to him, Mundus, Lord of the Underworld!

-+-

_I hope you guys liked it! I worked really hard...two hours to percise. XP Now Review! _


	7. Happy HailOWeenie

**As I promised, I have made a fic for Halloween and since my account is fixed (I couldn't update before) I can now post this chapter. Yay! _Umm…I know I should have posted this a LONG time ago but I definitely forgot that I wrote it…sorry! V.V;;_**

**_Thank you everyone who R&R'ed to my last chapter! I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I was a bout to write for this sttory today when I found this and I was like O.O OH -beep-! I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks again to everyone who has been supporting me on this, I wuv you all! Ya keep me going! Happy belated Halloween and Happy belated Thanksgiving!_**

Happy Hail-O-Weenie

Dante sat quietly on the couch. No, this time there were no socks to keep him at bay because amazingly he was sound asleep. He had a perfectly good reason to sleep too…Mundus…or should I say Scipio? Had fun during his stay and sadly he was still with them.

Scipio quickly won over the girl's hearts. He would put on his best innocent act (**_ironic, huh?_**) and would charm the girls with his "_devilish cute_" looks. Mundus didn't take well to his new form at first. The fact that his license had expired without him noticing really seem to press his buttons but he adapted to the childish form and learned how to use it to his advantage. All in all Mundus was being evil.

Thankfully Mundus was still oblivious to Dante's little sock problem but he did have his own way of driving the twins insane. For instance…He made Vergil watch 5 straight hours of Barney…or at least he tried. They only got through the opening song before Vergil went into a twitching fit and destroyed the TV. The girls weren't too happy about that and made Vergil buy a new one and made him wear a large Barney shirt to the store. He would've torn the stupid shirt off if the girls hadn't duck taped it onto him and warned him that the next step was staples. Yes, evil indeed.

Well, Dante didn't get off easy either. Mundus was sure to get revenge on him so he planned something extra special to go with his little Revenge Plan aka B.E.A.N.S. What B.E.A.N.S. stood for Mundus wasn't exactly sure, he just knew it was something fun to say and cackle evilly about. Along side with his B.E.A.N.S. plan Mundus; under codename as Scipio, made Dante's life a living nightmare. Which included his newest scheme, operation S.A.T.U. (aka Steal All The Underwear)

This plan included the following steps:

Steal all underwear but Dante's.

Hide underwear in Dante's bed while he is sleeping.

Place one over Dante's head.

Run away as not to be caught.

It was brilliant until Dante caught the little midget and began to beat the living crap out of him, which concluded by turning it into a lot of dead crap. Sadly enough, the girls heard Dante's many "_choice words_" and came running to see their little boy duck taped to the ceiling.

This lead to Dante receiving many "_unexplainable_" injuries. When he entered the kitchen the next morning he was questioned by his brother only to glare back at him and say, "You sleep soundly, -_insert choice word here_-!"

Vergil wasn't sure what that meant but when he went to go check out his brother's room (and retrieve his underwear) he figured out what the problem was. Dante didn't get a decent night's sleep because of what the girls did to his bed…. his bed was now completely covered with socks, which were stapled to the bed. Vergil sighed and shook his head, gathered his underwear and left. He thought to himself, _perhaps I shouldn't have told the girls what Dante's worst fear was…but then again the girls made me wear a –beep- to –beep- Barney shirt to the store!_

"Hello Scipio," Lucia said happily as she walked down to the kitchen, giving Dante a glare as she passed.

Scipio grinned at Lucia, eyes darting to Dante with evil glee. Dante only glared at him and looked away.

"Oh stop sulking Dante!" Trish exclaimed sleepily as she entered the kitchen, smiling to Scipio as she passed, Lady following behind her.

Lady sat next to Scipio and ruffled his hair, speaking to him softly, "What do you want to dress as tonight, kid?"

Dante bit his lip at this; he had completely forgotten what day it was…Halloween.

Scipio merely raised an eyebrow, "What for?"

Trish looked at the little "_boy"_ in shock and Lucia spoke up, "For Halloween, of course."

Scipio merely blinked in confusion as he tried to say the word, "Hail-o-weenie?" one word in said comment making him jump onto the table in victory, "Yes! Hail me puny mortals! NOW!"

Everyone in the room exchanged glances and began to laugh without control, making Mundus turn a rather lovely shade of red. Whether the shade was out of embarrassment or frustration I couldn't say…a bit too dangerous to find out.

Dante grinned and spoke up above the laughing with a glint to his eye. A glint of pure evil and vengeance, "I know what he should dress up as."

A couple hours later, after much pain and struggling the four found themselves looking at a very pissed off Scipio…or should I say Lord of the Underworld?

Mundus wore a huge frown, which did not come with the costume. He crossed his arms and budged out his bottom lip in defiance. They has dressed him in noblemen's clothing back in the day, with a large crown which tilted to the side since it was too big for his head. His puffy pants tucking in white tights and slipping into polished black buckle shoes. A large purple cloak hanging from around his shoulders and trailing out behind his royalty…yes…Mundus was a cute lil' King.

Mundus shot a glare to Dante, his face saying _I WILL kill you for this –insert choice word here-!_ Dante only grinned and gave Scipio his pillowcase.

"Off you go," Dante said.

Trish and the rest of the girls looked at him as if he were crazy, "You'd make him go out by himself! He might get hurt!"

Vergil entered then, grinning at the little king, "It's a risk I know both of us are willing to take."

Trish and the girls grinned, "Fine, you can go with him."

-+-

So that was how the three ended up on the street that night. Scipio dressed as a very pissed off king. Vergil dressed in a huge barney suit that he still couldn't figure out how to get out of so he twitched as they walked. Dante could barely walk himself, his face void of color for he was dressed as a giant, demented sock. How the girls found a giant sock costume I really don't know but you could say the same thing to those people who walk around dressed as tables and M&Ms.

Scipio broke the silence, "So what are we exactly doing? What is the purpose of Hail-O-Weenie?"

Vergil sighed, fidgeting within his suit as he spoke, "Halloween is a night when idiotic children dress up in costumes, run house to house, scream Trick-or-Treat, get candy and repeat the process until they have to go home. Of which they gorge themselves with the candy they get and suffer from stomach pains for a very long time. Sometimes you even get to crazy ones who use all of their toilet paper and teepee houses." With that comment said he looked to Dante who had, if possible, turned an even lighter shade than before. "I was wondering where all of OUR toilet paper went, Dante."

Dante merely said in a shaky voice, "Maybe one of the girls got hit with the runs?"

Vergil sighed and shook his head then stopped by a driveway, "Okay, Mundus. Here is a house. Go do your stuff."

Mundus grinned and ran up to the door, shouted at the top of his lungs, "TRICK-OR-TREAT!"

Vergil rubbed his temples, trying to rid himself of his headache, "No you idiot! Ring the doorbell!"

So Mundus did and a woman appeared, "Why hello young man, you have a very cute costume there."

Mundus growled, "I am not a young man! I am Mundus! KING OF THE UNDERWORLD!" his voice cracked slightly as he shouted it.

The woman laughed and nodded, "So I can see, your highness. Now what do you say?"

Mundus stood there for a moment in shock…he forgot what to say.

Vergil sighed as he heard Mundus shout, "Hail me puny mortal!" and with that said stole her bowl of candy and ran away.

"Come back here you little –insert choice word here-" The woman screeched and turned angrily to Dante and Vergil who were motionless with shock. She began to approach after she grabbed a cane from behind her door.

"Vergil," Dante whispered.

"Yeah Dante?" Vergil asked.

"Run!" Dante hollered and began to sprint at top speed away from the scary old lady with a cane.

Vergil thought about it and then ran as well, screamed, "Psycho lady!"

-+-

After a few practice houses Mundus finally got down the idea of Halloween. They would've brought the bowl back to the first house but the woman was now stationed on her porch with a growling bunny-rabbit and a revolver. They thought it best to her leave her be…for all of their sakes.

-+-

Upon getting home both boys ran up to their rooms to get a shower and get changed. They wanted to wash themselves clean of the evilness that was their costumes.

Mundus didn't bother. He quickly went to a bathroom, jiggled the trigger, waited for one of the twins' screams at the cold or hot water, grinned and went back to his rather large bag of candy. His bag, at one point, couldn't hold it all so they began to put some inside of Dante's costume since he could not only be used as a sock but as a bag as well. That didn't please Dante but Mundus didn't really care now did he? Nope.

Mundus poured out his bag to see the almighty unknown that was candy. Trish and the girls sat around him smiling, "What do you think, Scipio? Not bad for your first Halloween."

Mundus looked confused though as he opened one of the small candies and smelled it, "What is it?"

Trish smiled, "Try it and find out."

Scipio raised an eyebrow, "How?"

Lucia grabbed a small candy and said, "Like this," and unwrapped it and popped it into her mouth.

Scipio followed suit and his eyes opened in surprise. …It tasted…good?

This made him began to eat faster and faster. Making him look like a lunatic. The girls panicked, "No, Scipio! Not too much! You'll get a-" _too late._

Half the pile was gone amazingly and Mundus stopped, his face a bit pale except for the chocolate smudges on his cheeks and lips. He groaned and fell backwards.

Thus started Mundus' immense hatred of Hail-O-Weenie and candy. His dreams were filled with giant candies and wrappers trying to kill him with another stomachache, which kept him up all night.

Vergil and Dante grinned at the little demon and went up stairs to bed saying as the left, "Happy Halloween, Mundus!" and snickering as they left.

Mundus scowled and thought _after I kill the Sparda twins I will kill however made chocolate and Hail-O-Weenie. REVENGE WILL BE MINE! _

-+-

**_Too tired…can't spell check…deal with it…_**

_**Spazert over and out.**_

**_PS: If you are wondering why a lot of this is censored with -beep- or -insert choice word here- I just thought it was fun to type and made things interesting while writing this. In short I was bored and hyper. Luv ya!_**


	8. Unplugged Again?

**_I'm back! Can you believe it? Well, for those of you who might have been wondering about me or might have checked my profile either to find out if I was alive or to see if I planned to update you will find that yes, I am trying to continue this piece once more. I have a plot for the next chapter and I wrote this one to see if anyone still wanted me to continue or not. Well, enjoy and remember to R&R whether you want me to continue and if you have any ideas to suggest to me. I always love helpful hints and tips for my actual writing ability as well._**

Chapter 8: Unplugged Again?

The Devil May Cry crew was bored. Bored more so than usual and that's saying something considering the fact that their business usually steered them clear of such a feeling. But nonetheless, they were. No calls had come in for about a month, depressing most of the staff and leaving them all together at the Devil May Cry building all at the same time. Needless to say this wasn't the safest thing for any of them since they were all bored and ready to crawl out of their skins because of it.

A few times they wondered why no one was calling for some hellish reason or another. There weren't even calls about jobs they didn't take. Not even wrong number calls or telemarketers. Dante actually checked the phone after the first couple of days to make sure Vergil hadn't simply unplugged the phone once more to get on his nerves. Sadly the phone wasn't unplugged. If it had been, Dante mused, he could have just plugged it back in and the phone would be ringing that much faster.

So there they sat within the soundless walls of Devil May Cry, waiting for a call that wouldn't come. They sat around a circular table now that they were all desperate. Why, do you ask? Well, before it would be just one of them sitting at Dante's desk, waiting for the call, all of them taking turns. As the days went by things changed. Soon there would be two people watching the phone, then three, then four and now all of them watched it. Seeing as the desk was not really big enough for all of them to sit at and watch it comfortably they moved the phone to a circular table and pulled up chairs around it. All eyes, including a former Devil Lord, were on said phone.

"Why isn't it ringing?" Scipio, or should I say Mundus, asked with a mixture or pure curiosity and impatience. He too had started to watch the phone. The only reason being that without jobs to distract the Devil Hunting team he couldn't go around making Dante and Vergil's life a living hell. That was the closest he could get to hell on earth with his…_little_ problem.

He figured this out a few days ago. He was currently trying out his latest scheme code named M.A.S.H.E.D. P.O.T.A.T.O.E.S. and once again, the name served no real purpose but he just loved saying it evilly and cackling like an insane person afterwards. Back to the topic at hand, he was in the process of fulfilling his plan, which consisted of putting a fine powder into the showerhead of Dante and Vergil's bathroom. The powder would mingle with the water, changing it into a temporary dye and thus change the Devil Twin's skin color for a short but still very amusing time. Though he would only get one before the other would obviously find out and clean it he still would have his fun at watching a blue colored Devil Boy walking around.

He never took into mind that the Devil Boys, both of which possessed an unwanted break from work, were roaming around in utter boredom. Through such aimless wandering around the deeper halls of Devil May Cry Vergil found a certain 'youth' standing on a chair inside of the shower and twisting the cap of the showerhead back into place. Thankfully for Vergil and to 'Scipio's' utter despair, there was a clear glass sliding door to the shower. Vergil silently crept up behind Mundus and right when Mundus turned on heel to jump off the chair Vergil grabbed him with a smirk.

As one can imagine the former Devil King was very mad about his plan not only being foiled once more by one of Sparda's boys but was angry with the fact that his small _human_ body couldn't wriggle out of his former servant's grip. The fact that Vergil could easily hold him under one arm only fed this anger. Mundus flailed around as he watched Vergil calmly moved the chair out of the shower and placed Mundus (non to gently I might add) into the shower once more, fliped the water to cold and turned the shower on, closing the door just as quickly as he had caught Mundus and held it there.

Mundus tried everything. He tried threats, he tried pulling, pushing, yanking, and tried kicking the door down. Each attempt more futile than the last and when Mundus actually tried to ram the door with his small and now shivering wet bulk he only ended up flat on his arse sitting in a rainfall of bluish tinted water. _Cold _bluish tinted water. _Pride stealing, cold, bluish tinting water_ and needless to say Mundus ended up with blue clothing, blue hands, a blue face, blue hair, and skin that was blue where ever the color changing water could touch. His clothing protected most of his body besides those places where clothing had protected him and so Mundus found out how it was like to be the first Devil King turned human with a _blue _farmer's tan.

When the girls had found out about what Vergil had done they promptly scolded him. Sadly for them and fortunately for Vergil, he had left shortly after turned the Devil King blue and was forced to listen to their speech via cell phone. That was easy enough to ignore and he made sure to give the girls plenty of time to calm down before returning. The girls later admitted that the blue boy was very cute even with his new skin tone and they declared that Mundus had made a new race of human being. This boosted Mundus' ego for a short amount of time. Why so short? Well, upon hearing (and seeing) that his enemy was now not only a helpless child but a _blue _helpless child, Dante simply fell to the floor and laughed himself silly. Mundus decided to tell Dante of his newfound race. Population? One (to our knowledge) and Dante couldn't resist laughing harder, almost to a point of rib shattering unconsciousness.

Sure, Dante was also scolded for this but he didn't really give a crap. Every time Mundus passed Dante he would be promptly pointed at, laughed at, and told, "All hail his royal Blueness!" and would receive a salute or bow of some kind from Dante. Not that he didn't like salutes or bows but Dante's salutes and bows were…special so to say, usually including an interesting, and usually frowned upon finger or some other improper thing for a human to do. But Dante was only _half _human, he would say in defense whenever Mundus would whine.

So, shortly after that mishap Mundus decided that he too would watch the phone. Not before, of course, sending one prank call to the Devil May Cry phone with Dante's cell phone. However, his hiding spot wasn't as good as it could have been. He had been able to, slowly, recover some of his powers. For now, they were small but usable nonetheless and the power he was using when he called Devil May Cry and when Dante caught him in the act was his power to throw his voice and change it. Dante wasn't as…kind as Vergil. Sure, Vergil had turned him blue but Dante was about to beat him blue and black and red. Dante would have done so too if Lady hadn't stopped him. Lady had been the one to answer the phone and Lady was the one who heard Dante in the background of the other person's phone and Lady was the one who heard 'Scipio' scream like a little girl and therefore Lady was the one who prevented Dante from doing anything rash by grabbing one of her guns from her belt and shooting him between the eyes. Being the amazing half-breed that he is, Dante healed from the wound to find himself duck taped to his bed and the bedroom door locked. Anyone who would hear his cry for help wouldn't feel like breaking a door or paying for a door to help him. The residents of Devil May Cry still haven't asked him how he escaped.

Scipio got his own punishment for pissing off the young Devil Hunting woman. Lady decided it was time for Mundus, or better known to the girls as Scipio, to find out what time-out was. Yep, the Devil King was put in time-out for everyone, or at least, every hunter that mattered, to see. Of which Dante and Vergil took many pictures of for further use in the future. Blackmail, music to their ears and horror to Mundus'.

Now that everyone knows why Mundus was also watching the phone, we can continue. So, as I was saying, the crew was all watching the phone in their circle of unimaginable boredom that comes with nothing to do and too much time to kill and not to mention _waiting._ Once or twice the group decided to try to figure out reasons as to why calls weren't coming in. One of Dante's being, "I bet they're watching a Demonic Super Bowl, getting wasted on spiked blood and dancing around with lampshades on their heads!"

Needless to say, Dante once again found himself duck taped though he was mercifully allowed to stay near the phone so the gang simply duck taped him to his chair and made sure to duck tape his mouth.

Yes, they were all a bit…cranky and boredom led them to do…irrational things. They didn't really care though. Anything to make time fly and one must admit that duck taping the most feared Devil Hunter in hell was a fun and time consuming thing to do.

Not fun for Dante though…who now was duck taped for being his normal self.

How sad.

It was Trish who finally broke the silence by suggesting the gang go out to the Beach for a weekend seeing as they had nothing else to do.

Now the Devil Hunters enjoyed this idea, each agreeing in their own way and Dante letting out a muffled response that no one really cared to find out was yes or no. It was Mundus who didn't speak up and it was Mundus who attracted everyone's eyes.

"What do you think, Scipio?" Trish asked in her gentle tone that she used with the 'child'.

"What is a Bee-itch?" Mundus asked, truly confused. Well, you can easily see why this startled the girls and why it got a few chuckles and muffled laughs from the only two people who knew this was Mundus. For the women that didn't know this was Mundus talking and truly did not know that saying Beach in the high pitched and weird way he did would come out very close to the word also known as a female dog or a very disliked person thought that Scipio had simply overheard the use of a rather frowned upon word. For those who knew this was Mundus only laughed at his stupidity and at the lecture he was about to receive.

Which he did receive and now that Mundus had been taught that the word was wrong to say and that the word he was trying to say was Beach they decided that the trip would be a good idea. If not to get there minds off of the fact that they were having a hard time getting a job request then to show Mundus what the beach was.

But unknown to Mundus and the girls, Dante and Vergil are plotting a way to get revenge upon Mundus without having to worry about the wrath of their women friends afterwards. Oh dear…

**.:TBC:.**

**_No Devils were hurt in the making of this fic...well...not too badly at least._**

**_What did you think?_**

**_ 3 Spazzy the Blindfolded Angel_**


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry Guys, this is just an Author's Note-BUT IT IS IMPORTANT, if you have ever enjoyed my writing and are interested in reading more, please read!

I'm writing an online fiction web series and I'd like to let ya'll know about it! Below you will find all the information you need (summary, links, etc.) and I really, really, REALLY hope you guys check it out. Maybe leave a comment on the site? I'd love you to pieces.

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**"A.R.C."**

**Summary: **When a biological attack hits the United States in 2012, humanity is pushed to it's limits to adapt. Victims become gripped by a severe allergic reaction to water. A new city is established—the Aquagenic-Mortis Rehabilitation City (A.R.C.)—to contain and protect the infected. Nearly thirty years later, people begin to disappear. A.R.C.-born citizens and possible carriers of an evolving strand of DNA could be the cure to end the disease. People like Noah. Now it's up to him, one of few immune to the disease, to find out the truth behind A.R.C. and the dark web of scandals that serve as its foundation.

_**w w w . a r c 2 0 1 2 . w e e b l y . c o m**_

_**"A.R.C." updates with a new chapter weekly. Every Wednesday, without fail.**  
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You can also follow "A.R.C." on Tumblr - just write a-r-c2012 and then the rest of the tumblr address.

Full link for the first chapter (just take out all the spaces)

w w w . a r c 2 0 1 2 . w e e b l y . c o m

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The reason why I'm posting information about this here, is because the reason why I started writing fanfiction was to better myself as an author and a lot of you provided amazing feedback and critique. I hope that even though this isn't a fanfiction, that you'll still give it a shot and maybe even enjoy it.

Also, I do still plan to finish "Two Where There Was One" and "Tomorrow We Believe, But Not Today". It's just hard to find time lately to write fanfiction. Sorry guys, I know it's been forever. Hopefully "A.R.C." will make up for it?

I really hope to see you there.

-Spazzy (aka Blindfolded Angel)


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